Now that you’ve (hopefully) decided to get married, my next question for you is, what are you prepared to COMMIT to?
A lot of people think, “Let’s just go get married,” and they don’t think about the vows. Let’s talk about it.
Look Before You Leap
We’ve all seen it so many times it’s practically a cliche.
A couple goes down to Vegas. They get drunk, get married by Elvis, and hooray they’re married! And it’s all a wonderful celebration and the bride tosses the bouquet. Everything seems great, but nobody sits and thinks, “Wait a second! We just made a commitment here and what exactly did we set ourselves up for?”
Don’t be like those people. Figure out what you are prepared to commit to.
I assume that you are prepared to give it some thought, otherwise you’d be down in Vegas getting married instead of sitting here reading this post about actually deciding to get married.
Let’s Talk About Vows
So let’s just make this real simple, it doesn’t matter if you’re religious or not, if you’re getting married in a church, or a backyard, or a synagogue, or a mosque, or you’re taking the seven steps, or you’re gonna go pay the twenty eight dollars down on the courtyard steps.
You are getting married. You are making a commitment to another human being and all of those religions and philosophies have similar topics in their vows.
Marriage In A Nutshell
You are going to commit to another person- to have and to hold. To hold each other when things get hard forever. To cherish each other. To be honest with each other- with another human being.
Have you ever even been like this with anybody else? Have you really opened up with somebody? Have you thought it through, holding on to somebody for the rest of your life, because the concept sounds great but the idea might not be what you want.
Think it through. If somewhere in the back of your mind you’re thinking, “I do want to get married, but if it doesn’t work out I can just get divorced.” Well, A) that’s just not a way to be a decent person and B) visit my post about Not Using Divorce As Plan ‘B,’ and we’ll have a separate discussion about that.
You Are Commiting To A PERSON
Remember, you’re making a commitment to a person. You’re telling this person:
That’s what this is about. It’s deep in the weeds stuff, right!? Looking back those can be some of the good times!
YOU Need To Make A Decision
But seriously, marriage is fantastic, but you need to decide whether or not you’re up for it. Nobody can decide for you.
Your parents can’t decide for you. Your prospective spouse can’t decide for you. Your partner, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, whomever- no one can decide for you. YOU need to make a decision.
You do not need to make this commitment to me and you do not need to make this commitment today.
You could decide that you are interested in being married to a specific person, but you’re not necessarily ready to commit to that enterprise right now. That’s totally fine, as long as you are honest with the other person.
We’re going to talk more about the necessity of being honest with your partner another time. This post is just about you deciding what YOU are prepared to COMMIT to.
Right now, you need to pause and think about your life a little bit. Decide what it is you’re ready to commit to.
Commitment can be scary, so if you want to talk, if there’s something that you need to verbalize or write down or say to somebody that is not your partner or your mom, then leave me a comment.
That’s all for now. Thanks for reading. There’ll be more.